You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
