But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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