You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
