You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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