I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
