i think my tv is drunk
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
