Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
