Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
