That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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