Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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