I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
