ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
