$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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