I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My legs feel like baby dolphins
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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