does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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