i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
