why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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