Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
