just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
