so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Randomize
