FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
