She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
