You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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