We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize