The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Is Oprah even human
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
