One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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