Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
