Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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