The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize