I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
