the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
