remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
