Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
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