Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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