talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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