it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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