In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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