Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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