My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
