Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
