wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
