You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
