And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
