she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
