Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
