I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
