That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
