I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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