Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
