onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
