If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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