Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Randomize
