he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
