do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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