so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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