I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
