Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
