Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
His nipple licking is glorious
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