she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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