check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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