Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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