How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I fill condoms, not promises.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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