your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
