You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I enjoy the company of your penis
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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