brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
youre lurking in front of me
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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