I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Randomize
