i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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