at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
how does that bad decision feel?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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