there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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