I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
