Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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