soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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