Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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