Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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