...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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